Well it has been a week since I blogged. It would be fair to say that the first week back at work was tiring, depressing and demotivating. I spent most of the week feeling very tired and then through circumstance was out Weds, Thurs and Friday night and did not get to bed till after midnight each night. Not a good look for a old bugger like me :-) Things of course were not helped by ridiculously hot temperatures with humidity through the roof!
Anyway so some musings.... I must say it has been hard coming back to work and I have felt a tad depressed at times. A lot of budget stress at the moment and I seem to be constantly worried I have mucked up somewhere Part of this probably stems from my dislike of finances and my tendency to want to ignore things and hope they will be alright. So anyway, I am going to try and put some things in place to make my life easier from now on and especially in the new financial year!
Guantanamo Bay... Well I am sure that will bring this blog to the attention of the U.S. security forces or something. I was reading a bit more about this this morning and it just gets more disturbing. What troubles me first is the fact that there was nothing anyone could have done to stop it. Who in the world could have stopped the Bush led administration from taking America down this path? And I am sure there are many in the U.S. who would feel it is a justifiable response to 9/11. But what does that say for any nation? What does that say for the people of GAZA? For the people of Israel? For the people of any nation that has an act of war or terrorism committed against it? And what damage has been done? Certainly any moral high ground that the U.S. had has been lost and those that remain, that in some way are going to have to be set free, how will they view the U.S. and the world? I am just not sure anything has been achieved and I suspect a great deal lost by the exercise. And I guess what I find really disturbing is that it has always just been easier to not think about it. To turn ones head and pretend it is not going on. I know I did and still do, because it is just to hard to think about.
On a lighter note, I see a a woman in the U.S. is auctioning her virginity. Apparently the bidding has hit $6.7 million. I suspect she might have trouble actually finding the person who bid that much but still I guess it says something interesting about the way virginity is viewed in these times. I mean, she is attractive enough, but I really don't think "deflowering a virgin" is worth that much money. In fact I know it is not!!! As for her? Well good on her I guess if she can get 10% of that figure she is probably doing well, as long as she can deal with it all after it is over.
Off to the physio this morning as my lower back has been giving me some grief. I have never been a person who suffered with their back, but my mother did and as I am now 38 figured I should nip it in the bud and get it sorted. I am sure some lower back strengthening will take care of it all!!!
Later!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Last day of the holidays
Well here we are on the last day of the holidays. Back to work tomorrow, much to my horror :-) It has been a good holiday though with plenty achieved and lots done so I at least feel in a good space as we head in to 2009.
Yesterday morning we went to the Matakana Farmers Market. Matakana is only an hour North of Auckland, but it is so removed you feel in another world. The place has really taken on a life of its own and become very trendy, and has a brilliant Farmers Market which is just so pleasurable (if busy) to wander around. Good coffee is on hand and with that and the lovely produce and food available it was a great way to start the day. By 10am it was around 25 degrees C there. We were in and out by 10.30am and were back in Auckland by 11.00am. I bought a couple of loaves of bread to check other bakers work. The San Francisco Sourdough was ok, but I think my Sourdough is better!!!
I am listening to The Beatles, White Album as I type this. The White Album goes down as probably my favourite album of all time I think. I discovered at about 14 (when it was 17 years old) and it immediately made an impact on me. I bought an old vinyl copy which got plenty of play. Later I bought another later copy and by combining the two I now have both the lyric sheet and the photos which came with the album. For me it is the The Beatles at their creative best, which I guess is ironic considering the state of their relationships at the time. I can do without Revolution #9, but the rest of the album holds together very very well for me. I mean how can those guys have been so fucking creative!!! Man it makes me feel humble.
The garden is doing well. We have Cress and Radish which have just sprouted. The tomatoes are on the verge of ripening, and I planted some more Peas the other day. Also yesterday on the way back from Matakana, we stopped at Silverdale to go to the Bendon Outlet Store and came across this guy who makes wooden planters. So I have ordered one from him and he is making me one for $35. That is so cheap! It is 1500mm long. They are made out of wood from old pallets and will form the basis of a bean and pea planter :-)
Yesterday morning we went to the Matakana Farmers Market. Matakana is only an hour North of Auckland, but it is so removed you feel in another world. The place has really taken on a life of its own and become very trendy, and has a brilliant Farmers Market which is just so pleasurable (if busy) to wander around. Good coffee is on hand and with that and the lovely produce and food available it was a great way to start the day. By 10am it was around 25 degrees C there. We were in and out by 10.30am and were back in Auckland by 11.00am. I bought a couple of loaves of bread to check other bakers work. The San Francisco Sourdough was ok, but I think my Sourdough is better!!!
I am listening to The Beatles, White Album as I type this. The White Album goes down as probably my favourite album of all time I think. I discovered at about 14 (when it was 17 years old) and it immediately made an impact on me. I bought an old vinyl copy which got plenty of play. Later I bought another later copy and by combining the two I now have both the lyric sheet and the photos which came with the album. For me it is the The Beatles at their creative best, which I guess is ironic considering the state of their relationships at the time. I can do without Revolution #9, but the rest of the album holds together very very well for me. I mean how can those guys have been so fucking creative!!! Man it makes me feel humble.
The garden is doing well. We have Cress and Radish which have just sprouted. The tomatoes are on the verge of ripening, and I planted some more Peas the other day. Also yesterday on the way back from Matakana, we stopped at Silverdale to go to the Bendon Outlet Store and came across this guy who makes wooden planters. So I have ordered one from him and he is making me one for $35. That is so cheap! It is 1500mm long. They are made out of wood from old pallets and will form the basis of a bean and pea planter :-)
Friday, January 2, 2009
What next
So I am thinking this morning about projects for the coming year. This process of thought started just before Christmas when I realised that I need a new creative outlet for 2009, which I guess has been spurred on somewhat by the working through "The Artists Way" I had initially thought of writing a hand written letter a day for a year, each to a different person, but this seemed kind of a major ask. Also, I have in my mind possible publication and I am not sure that 365 letters would make a usable volume. I am still considering one a week, which would be less arduous and make a much more usable volume. I would like to see them in a book where you can open the envelope and read the letters pretty much as they were when they were sent. I am also thinking about doing another photographic project, just not sure quite what yet. Also, possibly a combined photographic and writing project.
Well we spent most of yesterday afternoon at the beach. It was very sunny and hot and a lovely lovely day. Hannah, Wayne and Iris and Beck where with us. I love it when summer fully arrives and you get the chance to spend long days at the beach in and out of the water and enjoying all that summer can offer. In theory we are supposed to be going today again, but as I look out the window it is raining, so that might not be happening. We are however, meeting Mirla and Rob for brunch/coffee at 10am.
I seeded some plants yesterday in my lovely new Greenhouse. I am very pleased we got, I can see a lot of very pleasant afternoons in there tending to my the garden. Speaking of which, the garden is looking great. The tomatos are on the verge of starting to come ripe. I picked another harvest of Butterbeans and also a harvest of Greenbeans. Last night I put some Sourdough on, made some bread rolls and made some Grape Jam. We then watched a Witness which is new out on DVD and stars Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman. Not bad, not great, but not bad at all. Kat also watched Hancock, which I had seen before. She didn't mention it after, so I am thinking she was so so on it.
Well we spent most of yesterday afternoon at the beach. It was very sunny and hot and a lovely lovely day. Hannah, Wayne and Iris and Beck where with us. I love it when summer fully arrives and you get the chance to spend long days at the beach in and out of the water and enjoying all that summer can offer. In theory we are supposed to be going today again, but as I look out the window it is raining, so that might not be happening. We are however, meeting Mirla and Rob for brunch/coffee at 10am.
I seeded some plants yesterday in my lovely new Greenhouse. I am very pleased we got, I can see a lot of very pleasant afternoons in there tending to my the garden. Speaking of which, the garden is looking great. The tomatos are on the verge of starting to come ripe. I picked another harvest of Butterbeans and also a harvest of Greenbeans. Last night I put some Sourdough on, made some bread rolls and made some Grape Jam. We then watched a Witness which is new out on DVD and stars Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman. Not bad, not great, but not bad at all. Kat also watched Hancock, which I had seen before. She didn't mention it after, so I am thinking she was so so on it.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Hello 09
Well here we are in another year. Feeling a bit low on writing inspiration and ruminations this morning so this may indeed be quite short. We bought a portable greenhouse yesterday and set it up down the side of the house in the dead unused space. I am so excited to have it so we can start growing veges all year round!!! We got a great bargain too. The greenhouse was price at $230 and the shelves to go in it at $50. But when I went to buy it, the woman who owns the garden centre, gave me 20% off the total price, which meant the whole thing cost $221. We go in there a lot and I do believe in shopping local, so I was pleased to have out loyalty rewarded.
See I told you this was going to be short, maybe more later.....
See I told you this was going to be short, maybe more later.....
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The morning after
So New Years Eve. Yesterday was a nice day, a conflicting day somewhat on many levels, but a nice day. I ended the day a bit disappointed and conflicted about someone, very happy with someone and smiling that I have some good good friends. One thing that was frustrating was I ended up doing all the BBQ and so was removed from my guests for the best part of an hour. So in some ways I had a birthday gathering where lots of people got to chat, but not with me. I will need to rethink that one for next year!
I have been thinking this morning about childhood (mine in particular) and how I am lucky that I can think back fondly on it and actually wish at times I could go back there and appreciate it as I do now. One of the great ironies of life being you can't really fully appreciate your childhood until it is over. I was thinking about 31 Wainoni Road, which is where I spent my formative years. My first day of school, where I began to learn about the world, where I played for hours in the backyard, where I grew veges, where I discovered my sexuality, where I had my heart broken for the first time and where I started to become an adult. It may be rose tinted glasses, but it was a time which was generally very very happy for me. I actually wrote down the line "I would love to be able to go back and sit on the grass with my parents as they were then." That's life isn't it I guess. You can't go back, all you can do is remember and enjoy and feel lucky you can.
So I don't have a lot in the way of New Years resolutions, seeing that a couple of days ago I wrote down 6 ambitions for 2008 anyway.
I had a lovely lovely chat with Moira last night. She is coming to the end of her 365/6 and we were talking about creativity and other yearly projects. Interestingly enough we had had a similar idea for a project involving writing letters. The concept of a hand written letter every day or week. I am seriously thinking of doing this. I fancy the idea of giving it a go. Really want to do one a day, but am nervous it might be a bit of an undertaking. A week would be more manageable but for me would feel like a bit of a cop out from my original idea. Will see what comes of this, but I must must create.
My surprise of yesterday was a lovely CD of music by a guy called Elliott Smith. This was given to me by a woman who I have recently met through my friend and singing buddy David. I was really really touched by this. We have talked a few times about music and in particular The Smiths, so it was really lovely of her to think of this and to share this music which obviously means a lot to her. I am blessed by good people in my life!
List of birthday presents:
Seeding trays and gardening gloves
JB HiFi voucher
Jazz guitar ice cube tray
Cookie cutters
Voucher for a meal at a friends fave cafe
Elliott Smith CD
A tree (name escapes me right now)
I love G.I. Badge
Green Lomograph camera!!!
Neat Jam Jar labels
A portable greenhouse (present to myself which I will get today)
I have been thinking this morning about childhood (mine in particular) and how I am lucky that I can think back fondly on it and actually wish at times I could go back there and appreciate it as I do now. One of the great ironies of life being you can't really fully appreciate your childhood until it is over. I was thinking about 31 Wainoni Road, which is where I spent my formative years. My first day of school, where I began to learn about the world, where I played for hours in the backyard, where I grew veges, where I discovered my sexuality, where I had my heart broken for the first time and where I started to become an adult. It may be rose tinted glasses, but it was a time which was generally very very happy for me. I actually wrote down the line "I would love to be able to go back and sit on the grass with my parents as they were then." That's life isn't it I guess. You can't go back, all you can do is remember and enjoy and feel lucky you can.
So I don't have a lot in the way of New Years resolutions, seeing that a couple of days ago I wrote down 6 ambitions for 2008 anyway.
I had a lovely lovely chat with Moira last night. She is coming to the end of her 365/6 and we were talking about creativity and other yearly projects. Interestingly enough we had had a similar idea for a project involving writing letters. The concept of a hand written letter every day or week. I am seriously thinking of doing this. I fancy the idea of giving it a go. Really want to do one a day, but am nervous it might be a bit of an undertaking. A week would be more manageable but for me would feel like a bit of a cop out from my original idea. Will see what comes of this, but I must must create.
My surprise of yesterday was a lovely CD of music by a guy called Elliott Smith. This was given to me by a woman who I have recently met through my friend and singing buddy David. I was really really touched by this. We have talked a few times about music and in particular The Smiths, so it was really lovely of her to think of this and to share this music which obviously means a lot to her. I am blessed by good people in my life!
List of birthday presents:
Seeding trays and gardening gloves
JB HiFi voucher
Jazz guitar ice cube tray
Cookie cutters
Voucher for a meal at a friends fave cafe
Elliott Smith CD
A tree (name escapes me right now)
I love G.I. Badge
Green Lomograph camera!!!
Neat Jam Jar labels
A portable greenhouse (present to myself which I will get today)
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
38
Well here I am at 38. Birthdays are always an interesting time for me as they are so closely linked to New Years that a feeling of introspection always sets in and I suspect is doubled in magnitude. I have spent many years being impervious to retrospection (or at least pretending I was) and making light of the spiritual side of life. In many ways this of course was a protection mechanism for stuff that I did not want to understand, deal with, or acknowledge. Now I am not saying I have found god or some deep spiritual sense of being, but I think I am more now willing to accept that there might be something greater than just existence for existence sake. I still fundamentally believe that humans believe in a god (in terms of a conventional religion) because it makes it easier to deal with the unknowns of life and in particular death. Another thing that gives me trouble with religion, is if indeed there was a Christian god, then why did so many people, for so many years believe in Pagan gods etc. I mean, people worshiped Pagan gods for longer than we have worshiped a Christian one. Paganism was only swept away by the advent of Christianity and its adoption by the state. This adoption, was of course a very smart thing as it enabled the state to continue to control the people, at a time when the world as they knew it was being torn apart by political instability and attacks and incursions by other tribes and nations.
Anyway, enough with the advent of Christianity 101. So as I said I am feeling introspective, so today, as ever, will be an interesting challenge. I am having a BBQ this afternoon, which should be fun as long as it stops raining!! A good mix of people are coming, so that always makes for a far more interesting time.
The other day I put down my things I was aiming for in 2009, so not much to say there, so I thought I might quickly look back over 37. As I turned 37 I was still dealing with my mothers death in many ways. She had only passed 6 months earlier and going straight in to a new job the week after her funeral meant I was immediately focused elsewhere. The job was causing me a lot of stress this time last year as I was still learning the ropes, and was in the midst of a major multi-million dollar project which I was mainly responsible for. Mini-Golf was was the order of the day last year, with the inaugural Corin Haines challenge. I of course forgot about that this year (much to everyone's delight I am sure). When I think back on the last year, so so much is taken up with RFID, being scared shitless I had forgotten something, or something was going to go wrong or the budget was going to be blown. My mind is in a bit of a swirl as I try to think of other major thing that happened.
A large focus of last year on the personal front was the trip to the U.S for a month. So much of my energy was spent building up to it, keeping us on track and preparing for what was my first major overseas trip (having only been to Australia before). The trip was fantastic, I saw so much, grew so much and learnt so much. The whole trip blew my mind and I ache for more experiences like it everyday now. New York is amazing and I totally dug it. San Francisco is just lovely and I have to say Boston is a really neat place. Denver and the wedding (which was the whole point of the trip) was just the best experience as we met a whole family of people there who have become part of our lives and it is truly special to have that now too.
Kat and I have grown stronger as a partnership and it is largely through the stresses and strains of a relationship. We never have all out fights, but we have frustrations with each other which occasionally we have to confront. It is this stuff which is the mortar of our relationship I think. The stuff that holds us together and means that we will be able to always be together. There is a maturity in this relationship which I love and appreciate. Maybe for this first time I appreciate it and that is what is the difference with us together, as opposed to my past. I am not sure I have the answers, but I do know it is good.
Alright, that will do for today. New Years Eve tomorrow, plenty of time for more introspection.
Anyway, enough with the advent of Christianity 101. So as I said I am feeling introspective, so today, as ever, will be an interesting challenge. I am having a BBQ this afternoon, which should be fun as long as it stops raining!! A good mix of people are coming, so that always makes for a far more interesting time.
The other day I put down my things I was aiming for in 2009, so not much to say there, so I thought I might quickly look back over 37. As I turned 37 I was still dealing with my mothers death in many ways. She had only passed 6 months earlier and going straight in to a new job the week after her funeral meant I was immediately focused elsewhere. The job was causing me a lot of stress this time last year as I was still learning the ropes, and was in the midst of a major multi-million dollar project which I was mainly responsible for. Mini-Golf was was the order of the day last year, with the inaugural Corin Haines challenge. I of course forgot about that this year (much to everyone's delight I am sure). When I think back on the last year, so so much is taken up with RFID, being scared shitless I had forgotten something, or something was going to go wrong or the budget was going to be blown. My mind is in a bit of a swirl as I try to think of other major thing that happened.
A large focus of last year on the personal front was the trip to the U.S for a month. So much of my energy was spent building up to it, keeping us on track and preparing for what was my first major overseas trip (having only been to Australia before). The trip was fantastic, I saw so much, grew so much and learnt so much. The whole trip blew my mind and I ache for more experiences like it everyday now. New York is amazing and I totally dug it. San Francisco is just lovely and I have to say Boston is a really neat place. Denver and the wedding (which was the whole point of the trip) was just the best experience as we met a whole family of people there who have become part of our lives and it is truly special to have that now too.
Kat and I have grown stronger as a partnership and it is largely through the stresses and strains of a relationship. We never have all out fights, but we have frustrations with each other which occasionally we have to confront. It is this stuff which is the mortar of our relationship I think. The stuff that holds us together and means that we will be able to always be together. There is a maturity in this relationship which I love and appreciate. Maybe for this first time I appreciate it and that is what is the difference with us together, as opposed to my past. I am not sure I have the answers, but I do know it is good.
Alright, that will do for today. New Years Eve tomorrow, plenty of time for more introspection.
Monday, December 29, 2008
On the verge
So today I am standing on the verge of a new year in my life. Tomorrow I turn 38 and I am optimistic it is going to be a pretty fine year for me. I was thinking this morning about opportunities and creating them for myself. This year I need to make the most of opportunities and create them to allow myself to progress to where I want to be. In "The Artists Way" it talks about how we are given the gift to be able to create and it is often our selfishness that stops us from using this and sharing with the world. I think it has been brewing in me for some time, but I really want to get myself to a position where I can live by creating, experiencing and sharing my life. I have achieved professionally and will in June of this year been in a senior management role for two years. What next for me I have to ask myself and I think that is getting to a position where I am earning income from my creativity and looking to cut back on 9-5. I know, I know, it is the great dream and we all wish that we could do it. But maybe the difference is wishing and doing! This will be my year of doing and my year of seeing if I can get myself somewhere. If by 39, I can say I am working semi-regularly as a singer and writing a bit I will know I have achieved what I want for 38.
Linked to this journey is of course the desire to garden, bake and produce my own food. This is not really the product of a desire for sustainability, more a desire to be more in touch with my world and making more of what I eat to ensure quality. This will be important for me in the coming year as I try to find where I will be creatively and where I can hope to be.
Pulled out the old Rocket yesterday which had gone to seed, weeded the garden and then planted more Rocket.
Linked to this journey is of course the desire to garden, bake and produce my own food. This is not really the product of a desire for sustainability, more a desire to be more in touch with my world and making more of what I eat to ensure quality. This will be important for me in the coming year as I try to find where I will be creatively and where I can hope to be.
Pulled out the old Rocket yesterday which had gone to seed, weeded the garden and then planted more Rocket.
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