So New Years Eve. Yesterday was a nice day, a conflicting day somewhat on many levels, but a nice day. I ended the day a bit disappointed and conflicted about someone, very happy with someone and smiling that I have some good good friends. One thing that was frustrating was I ended up doing all the BBQ and so was removed from my guests for the best part of an hour. So in some ways I had a birthday gathering where lots of people got to chat, but not with me. I will need to rethink that one for next year!
I have been thinking this morning about childhood (mine in particular) and how I am lucky that I can think back fondly on it and actually wish at times I could go back there and appreciate it as I do now. One of the great ironies of life being you can't really fully appreciate your childhood until it is over. I was thinking about 31 Wainoni Road, which is where I spent my formative years. My first day of school, where I began to learn about the world, where I played for hours in the backyard, where I grew veges, where I discovered my sexuality, where I had my heart broken for the first time and where I started to become an adult. It may be rose tinted glasses, but it was a time which was generally very very happy for me. I actually wrote down the line "I would love to be able to go back and sit on the grass with my parents as they were then." That's life isn't it I guess. You can't go back, all you can do is remember and enjoy and feel lucky you can.
So I don't have a lot in the way of New Years resolutions, seeing that a couple of days ago I wrote down 6 ambitions for 2008 anyway.
I had a lovely lovely chat with Moira last night. She is coming to the end of her 365/6 and we were talking about creativity and other yearly projects. Interestingly enough we had had a similar idea for a project involving writing letters. The concept of a hand written letter every day or week. I am seriously thinking of doing this. I fancy the idea of giving it a go. Really want to do one a day, but am nervous it might be a bit of an undertaking. A week would be more manageable but for me would feel like a bit of a cop out from my original idea. Will see what comes of this, but I must must create.
My surprise of yesterday was a lovely CD of music by a guy called Elliott Smith. This was given to me by a woman who I have recently met through my friend and singing buddy David. I was really really touched by this. We have talked a few times about music and in particular The Smiths, so it was really lovely of her to think of this and to share this music which obviously means a lot to her. I am blessed by good people in my life!
List of birthday presents:
Seeding trays and gardening gloves
JB HiFi voucher
Jazz guitar ice cube tray
Cookie cutters
Voucher for a meal at a friends fave cafe
Elliott Smith CD
A tree (name escapes me right now)
I love G.I. Badge
Green Lomograph camera!!!
Neat Jam Jar labels
A portable greenhouse (present to myself which I will get today)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
38
Well here I am at 38. Birthdays are always an interesting time for me as they are so closely linked to New Years that a feeling of introspection always sets in and I suspect is doubled in magnitude. I have spent many years being impervious to retrospection (or at least pretending I was) and making light of the spiritual side of life. In many ways this of course was a protection mechanism for stuff that I did not want to understand, deal with, or acknowledge. Now I am not saying I have found god or some deep spiritual sense of being, but I think I am more now willing to accept that there might be something greater than just existence for existence sake. I still fundamentally believe that humans believe in a god (in terms of a conventional religion) because it makes it easier to deal with the unknowns of life and in particular death. Another thing that gives me trouble with religion, is if indeed there was a Christian god, then why did so many people, for so many years believe in Pagan gods etc. I mean, people worshiped Pagan gods for longer than we have worshiped a Christian one. Paganism was only swept away by the advent of Christianity and its adoption by the state. This adoption, was of course a very smart thing as it enabled the state to continue to control the people, at a time when the world as they knew it was being torn apart by political instability and attacks and incursions by other tribes and nations.
Anyway, enough with the advent of Christianity 101. So as I said I am feeling introspective, so today, as ever, will be an interesting challenge. I am having a BBQ this afternoon, which should be fun as long as it stops raining!! A good mix of people are coming, so that always makes for a far more interesting time.
The other day I put down my things I was aiming for in 2009, so not much to say there, so I thought I might quickly look back over 37. As I turned 37 I was still dealing with my mothers death in many ways. She had only passed 6 months earlier and going straight in to a new job the week after her funeral meant I was immediately focused elsewhere. The job was causing me a lot of stress this time last year as I was still learning the ropes, and was in the midst of a major multi-million dollar project which I was mainly responsible for. Mini-Golf was was the order of the day last year, with the inaugural Corin Haines challenge. I of course forgot about that this year (much to everyone's delight I am sure). When I think back on the last year, so so much is taken up with RFID, being scared shitless I had forgotten something, or something was going to go wrong or the budget was going to be blown. My mind is in a bit of a swirl as I try to think of other major thing that happened.
A large focus of last year on the personal front was the trip to the U.S for a month. So much of my energy was spent building up to it, keeping us on track and preparing for what was my first major overseas trip (having only been to Australia before). The trip was fantastic, I saw so much, grew so much and learnt so much. The whole trip blew my mind and I ache for more experiences like it everyday now. New York is amazing and I totally dug it. San Francisco is just lovely and I have to say Boston is a really neat place. Denver and the wedding (which was the whole point of the trip) was just the best experience as we met a whole family of people there who have become part of our lives and it is truly special to have that now too.
Kat and I have grown stronger as a partnership and it is largely through the stresses and strains of a relationship. We never have all out fights, but we have frustrations with each other which occasionally we have to confront. It is this stuff which is the mortar of our relationship I think. The stuff that holds us together and means that we will be able to always be together. There is a maturity in this relationship which I love and appreciate. Maybe for this first time I appreciate it and that is what is the difference with us together, as opposed to my past. I am not sure I have the answers, but I do know it is good.
Alright, that will do for today. New Years Eve tomorrow, plenty of time for more introspection.
Anyway, enough with the advent of Christianity 101. So as I said I am feeling introspective, so today, as ever, will be an interesting challenge. I am having a BBQ this afternoon, which should be fun as long as it stops raining!! A good mix of people are coming, so that always makes for a far more interesting time.
The other day I put down my things I was aiming for in 2009, so not much to say there, so I thought I might quickly look back over 37. As I turned 37 I was still dealing with my mothers death in many ways. She had only passed 6 months earlier and going straight in to a new job the week after her funeral meant I was immediately focused elsewhere. The job was causing me a lot of stress this time last year as I was still learning the ropes, and was in the midst of a major multi-million dollar project which I was mainly responsible for. Mini-Golf was was the order of the day last year, with the inaugural Corin Haines challenge. I of course forgot about that this year (much to everyone's delight I am sure). When I think back on the last year, so so much is taken up with RFID, being scared shitless I had forgotten something, or something was going to go wrong or the budget was going to be blown. My mind is in a bit of a swirl as I try to think of other major thing that happened.
A large focus of last year on the personal front was the trip to the U.S for a month. So much of my energy was spent building up to it, keeping us on track and preparing for what was my first major overseas trip (having only been to Australia before). The trip was fantastic, I saw so much, grew so much and learnt so much. The whole trip blew my mind and I ache for more experiences like it everyday now. New York is amazing and I totally dug it. San Francisco is just lovely and I have to say Boston is a really neat place. Denver and the wedding (which was the whole point of the trip) was just the best experience as we met a whole family of people there who have become part of our lives and it is truly special to have that now too.
Kat and I have grown stronger as a partnership and it is largely through the stresses and strains of a relationship. We never have all out fights, but we have frustrations with each other which occasionally we have to confront. It is this stuff which is the mortar of our relationship I think. The stuff that holds us together and means that we will be able to always be together. There is a maturity in this relationship which I love and appreciate. Maybe for this first time I appreciate it and that is what is the difference with us together, as opposed to my past. I am not sure I have the answers, but I do know it is good.
Alright, that will do for today. New Years Eve tomorrow, plenty of time for more introspection.
Monday, December 29, 2008
On the verge
So today I am standing on the verge of a new year in my life. Tomorrow I turn 38 and I am optimistic it is going to be a pretty fine year for me. I was thinking this morning about opportunities and creating them for myself. This year I need to make the most of opportunities and create them to allow myself to progress to where I want to be. In "The Artists Way" it talks about how we are given the gift to be able to create and it is often our selfishness that stops us from using this and sharing with the world. I think it has been brewing in me for some time, but I really want to get myself to a position where I can live by creating, experiencing and sharing my life. I have achieved professionally and will in June of this year been in a senior management role for two years. What next for me I have to ask myself and I think that is getting to a position where I am earning income from my creativity and looking to cut back on 9-5. I know, I know, it is the great dream and we all wish that we could do it. But maybe the difference is wishing and doing! This will be my year of doing and my year of seeing if I can get myself somewhere. If by 39, I can say I am working semi-regularly as a singer and writing a bit I will know I have achieved what I want for 38.
Linked to this journey is of course the desire to garden, bake and produce my own food. This is not really the product of a desire for sustainability, more a desire to be more in touch with my world and making more of what I eat to ensure quality. This will be important for me in the coming year as I try to find where I will be creatively and where I can hope to be.
Pulled out the old Rocket yesterday which had gone to seed, weeded the garden and then planted more Rocket.
Linked to this journey is of course the desire to garden, bake and produce my own food. This is not really the product of a desire for sustainability, more a desire to be more in touch with my world and making more of what I eat to ensure quality. This will be important for me in the coming year as I try to find where I will be creatively and where I can hope to be.
Pulled out the old Rocket yesterday which had gone to seed, weeded the garden and then planted more Rocket.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans
I just read a fantastic blog post by my friend and fellow baker LibrarianJ. She has an great blog called Baking Bread and is documenting her baking experiences. It is so much fun to see others also loving to bake and the added advantage of actually knowing this particular blogger and living in the same city, is I hope that we can exchange some samples from time to time :-) It is, of course, also an great use of Web 2.0, but that is another story. Also on the bread front, in preparation for my birthday on Tuesday, I have split my starter in two, so I can bake 3 loaves.
Well last night we had a great BBQ with friends Hannah, Wayne and Iris, Jenny and Vic, and my neighbour Nina. It was just a simple affair with good food, wine and company. One of the things that made it specially great for me on the food front was the meat. The meat was a rolled Lamb Leg Roast which the butcher at NOSH boned for me and rolled on the spot. These guys are seriously good and if you live in Auckland and have not been to NOSH I would urge you to go. It was so great to see the leg boned before my eyes and know it was fresh and well done. I have a hood on my BBQ, and so I just roasted the meat on a rack with some olive oil and rosemary picked fresh from our garden. The other thing food wise, was the fact that the green part of the salad consisted almost entirely of greens from our garden. Our Rocket is just going to seed, so I will need to plant some more, but it has served us well and has the most amazing peppery taste. Much better than the store bought Rocket, which invariably tastes of nothing at all. We also had some standard lettuce in the salad. The tomatoes were all store bought as mine are not quite ready but with my 8 plants, I should be able to move in to using my own tomatoes within a few weeks.
Speaking of the garden, everything is going well. The tomato plants are really almost out of control, but I choose not to prune back, so I have to roll with the punches there. The rocket needs pulling and replanting and the whole place needs a jolly good weed!
Ok, that is all for now
Well last night we had a great BBQ with friends Hannah, Wayne and Iris, Jenny and Vic, and my neighbour Nina. It was just a simple affair with good food, wine and company. One of the things that made it specially great for me on the food front was the meat. The meat was a rolled Lamb Leg Roast which the butcher at NOSH boned for me and rolled on the spot. These guys are seriously good and if you live in Auckland and have not been to NOSH I would urge you to go. It was so great to see the leg boned before my eyes and know it was fresh and well done. I have a hood on my BBQ, and so I just roasted the meat on a rack with some olive oil and rosemary picked fresh from our garden. The other thing food wise, was the fact that the green part of the salad consisted almost entirely of greens from our garden. Our Rocket is just going to seed, so I will need to plant some more, but it has served us well and has the most amazing peppery taste. Much better than the store bought Rocket, which invariably tastes of nothing at all. We also had some standard lettuce in the salad. The tomatoes were all store bought as mine are not quite ready but with my 8 plants, I should be able to move in to using my own tomatoes within a few weeks.
Speaking of the garden, everything is going well. The tomato plants are really almost out of control, but I choose not to prune back, so I have to roll with the punches there. The rocket needs pulling and replanting and the whole place needs a jolly good weed!
Ok, that is all for now
Saturday, December 27, 2008
And time moves on
Well here we are on Dec 27th. It has been a nice few days and I am finally getting a bit relaxed and have some time. Alison has been hassling me to keep writing, so hopefully this will go some way to satiating her desire to read my blog. Christmas Day itself was pleasant. We started with our traditional Christmas morning breakfast at our house, which consisted of croissants, home made strawberry jam, moscato and strawberry cocktails and some coffee. The Matt, Jo, Beck's and I went to the beach from a swim. The day was only average and the water a tad on the brisk side, so Beck's decided not to swim, but Matt, Jo and I were in for around 15 minutes or so. It was quite bracing, but very pleasant to have done yet again. I like Jo a lot, a pity she is moving to Aussie in the New Year.
After this it was round to Beck's for Christmas lunch. The day fined up a but, so it was a lovely time eating outside and generally relaxing. In fact, it got so sunny that the white table cloths were too bright and had to be removed. The food was great. The ham went down well, as did my sourdough :-) I have to say too that Brian's trifle, even though it had no sherry in it, was bloody nice too. After this we went round to the Alleyne's for the evening and dinner. I hit the wall a bit and ended up having a couple of power naps. Wayne managed to interrupt one of these by pouring water over me, he is such a joy sometimes :-) We also played 500 as usual and got to use my new card shuffler which I got for a Christmas present.
Boxing Day was spent pretty much relaxing with a quick trip to Sylvia Park to buy a couple of bedside lamps. Man that place is shit on Boxing Day. People were everywhere, which usually does not go well with my temper, but we managed to avoid too much tension by parking down the road and getting in and out pretty quickly. On the garden front I harvested some more Butter Beans, the first Green Beans, and some more Peas. In the evening we watched Batman - The Dark Night, which was actually pretty good. I do have to say though that the voice Christian Bale uses for Batman is bloody annoying!!
So here I sit now on the 27th and have got up this morning and went and had breakfast with Brian down at Nosh. I have a sourdough ready to go in the oven and want to put another on tomorrow I think. I have got to thinking this morning in my morning pages about what I want for 2009 and have come up with a list as follows
1) Do a ham from scratch (would love to actually go and see a pig slaughtered and then get one of the legs from that pig, but this might be a bit difficult)
2) Keep on with the vocal lessons with Caitlin and start performing regularly
3) Work on making different types of bread to expand range
4) Get a year round garden going with a greenhouse
5) Have a holiday with Kat in the South Island traveling around
6) Be much happier and less stressed
Some good things to aim for there I think. I am not usually in to New Years lists, but this year feels a bit different and a good one to start focusing, aiming forward and planning to get to where I actually want to be. Shit, I am half way through this journey, if I don't start now I might never get there!!!!!!
After this it was round to Beck's for Christmas lunch. The day fined up a but, so it was a lovely time eating outside and generally relaxing. In fact, it got so sunny that the white table cloths were too bright and had to be removed. The food was great. The ham went down well, as did my sourdough :-) I have to say too that Brian's trifle, even though it had no sherry in it, was bloody nice too. After this we went round to the Alleyne's for the evening and dinner. I hit the wall a bit and ended up having a couple of power naps. Wayne managed to interrupt one of these by pouring water over me, he is such a joy sometimes :-) We also played 500 as usual and got to use my new card shuffler which I got for a Christmas present.
Boxing Day was spent pretty much relaxing with a quick trip to Sylvia Park to buy a couple of bedside lamps. Man that place is shit on Boxing Day. People were everywhere, which usually does not go well with my temper, but we managed to avoid too much tension by parking down the road and getting in and out pretty quickly. On the garden front I harvested some more Butter Beans, the first Green Beans, and some more Peas. In the evening we watched Batman - The Dark Night, which was actually pretty good. I do have to say though that the voice Christian Bale uses for Batman is bloody annoying!!
So here I sit now on the 27th and have got up this morning and went and had breakfast with Brian down at Nosh. I have a sourdough ready to go in the oven and want to put another on tomorrow I think. I have got to thinking this morning in my morning pages about what I want for 2009 and have come up with a list as follows
1) Do a ham from scratch (would love to actually go and see a pig slaughtered and then get one of the legs from that pig, but this might be a bit difficult)
2) Keep on with the vocal lessons with Caitlin and start performing regularly
3) Work on making different types of bread to expand range
4) Get a year round garden going with a greenhouse
5) Have a holiday with Kat in the South Island traveling around
6) Be much happier and less stressed
Some good things to aim for there I think. I am not usually in to New Years lists, but this year feels a bit different and a good one to start focusing, aiming forward and planning to get to where I actually want to be. Shit, I am half way through this journey, if I don't start now I might never get there!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Eve
Well here we are Christmas Eve 08. A busy and productive day. Dropped Kat at the train at 7.30am this morning and then popped over to Greenlane, before coming home and grabbing coffee and breakfast from Cigana. Then I finished off the prep on my Sourdough loaves before going and buying Ruinart Champagne for tomorrow and picking up Kat. I also bought my Santa present. This afternoon I then baked my Sourdough Loaves, glazed the ham and baked 36 Christmas Mince Tarts. After a busy day baking we went of to Beck's for a Christmas Eve drink, which was very pleasant and made an end to a long long day.
Monday, December 22, 2008
It's time to start writing
Well it is I think. I am reading the book called "The Artists Way" and doing the course. This involves, amongst other things writing 3 hand written pages every morning, just stream of conscious stuff to start unblocking the creative you. And I have to say, it is. I am feeling much more in tune with expressing my feelings and writing them down. This is great as I have felt blocked for so long. Life has successfully well and truly blocked the creative me.
So anyway, here I sit on Dec 22nd. Just a few short days to Christmas. So much has happened this year it is not funny. Work has been very busy and we have achieved a lot. I am proud that Manukau Libraries is in a far better place in terms of it's IT than when I started. Not sure about the council, but we are in uncertain times. I got engaged on the top of the Empire State building and during this time spent a month in the U.S.A visiting San Francisco; Denver; New York; Cape Cod, Mystic, CN; Salem, MA; Stockbridge, MA; Plymouth, MA and Boston. Also started singing lessons with the lovely Ms Caitlin Smith and performed my first paid gig at the LIANZA Conference.
Anyway so Christmas in 3 days, I can hardly believe it. I have a busy few days ahead, baking loaves of Sourdough, 36 Christmas Mince Tarts and glazing a ham. It is what I love doing, so not a chore at all. In the midst of that i need to catch up with Wendy, buy a Christmas present or two, and tend to the garden. The garden is looking great and starting to bare good returns.
So what for 2009? Well it is my year to get performing regularly. The plan being by 40 to be able to cut back to part-time work with income at least half derived from performing!
Anyway enough for now. But my promise to me is to do this every day :-)
So anyway, here I sit on Dec 22nd. Just a few short days to Christmas. So much has happened this year it is not funny. Work has been very busy and we have achieved a lot. I am proud that Manukau Libraries is in a far better place in terms of it's IT than when I started. Not sure about the council, but we are in uncertain times. I got engaged on the top of the Empire State building and during this time spent a month in the U.S.A visiting San Francisco; Denver; New York; Cape Cod, Mystic, CN; Salem, MA; Stockbridge, MA; Plymouth, MA and Boston. Also started singing lessons with the lovely Ms Caitlin Smith and performed my first paid gig at the LIANZA Conference.
Anyway so Christmas in 3 days, I can hardly believe it. I have a busy few days ahead, baking loaves of Sourdough, 36 Christmas Mince Tarts and glazing a ham. It is what I love doing, so not a chore at all. In the midst of that i need to catch up with Wendy, buy a Christmas present or two, and tend to the garden. The garden is looking great and starting to bare good returns.
So what for 2009? Well it is my year to get performing regularly. The plan being by 40 to be able to cut back to part-time work with income at least half derived from performing!
Anyway enough for now. But my promise to me is to do this every day :-)
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